But a nice man came and flipped the main breaker back on and heaved the stove out from its niche into the middle of the kitchen, and said "Whoa." And then he left, because he wasn't the stove guy and it was nine-thirty at night, and I felt bad because I'll bet I was interrupting his Desperate Housewives or something, and he was a fat little redheaded guy with a wicked smile. I have a weakness for fat little redheaded guys with wicked smiles, because they remind me of my uncles. But the upshot is that I have a stove in the middle of my kitchen floor and a fully-functioning candle of a flashlight and a broken vibrator, and life is strange as ever.
In honor of halowrites, who loves this shit:
"This distress call wouldn't be taking place in someone's pants, would it?"
Also, for fun, my favorite Simon/Jayne story, The Shirt Affair, by leadensky. The voices are perfect. And the Vera-cleaning scene is some of the hottest porn out there, ahahahaha!!
Ya know, I love me some Captain Mal, and when I saw the Serenity trailer and him saying "DO YOU WANT TO BE IN CHARGE OF THIS SHIP?? ...well, you can't," I had a little wiggle, but the fact is the power thing between Mal and Jayne is offputting to my slasher sensibility, while the power thing between Simon and Jayne is RAWR. I don't know. But of course it has to be Jayne, no matter what.
Sometimes I like to do it like this. *turns on flashlight*