They still haven't finished snipping my poor kitty's balls off, and I think it was a failure in understanding on my part, thinking I'd have him home from the shelter this quickly. When she told me, "We'll schedule him for surgery ASAP and then give you a call when you can pick him up," I thought that meant they'd be STAT paging the vet-on-call to come and start snipping, pronto. Ha. Once again the world demonstrates that It Is Not All About Me. I'm so disillusioned. But soon I'll have a cat, or soon enough, and it'll be a lovely Christmas present when he does show up. I'm working Christmas Eve and Day this year, yuck, so lovely Christmas presents are absolutely vital.
Please forgive me, I must ramble on about work a bit.
Got to work yesterday morning, after seven days off. Woe.
Screaming, spitting, shit flying through the air. Every IV alarm on the unit was binging. Papers strewn everywhere, random vials of medication and pill packs and empty syringes and junk littering the counters, charts piled up, both phones ringing, and one pm nurse who usually works the other unit and hates ours with a passion (as one does) going on and on and on shrilly about how those nurses in 10tower were stealing our coffee and it's our coffee and they're stealing it, and none of my paperwork was ready for my shift and none of the blood and platelets ordered and none of the electrolyte replacements and none of the doctors notified of fevers and abnormal labs, and I just had to understand they'd had a hard night.
Yeah, that was 0645. Twelve and a half hours to go! No prob.
Dudes, it's like that every day. Me and a few of the other nurses try to keep the peace and clean stuff up and restock, etc., but woe unto us if we ever take time off, for it all goes to hell when we do. It occurred to me yesterday as I was locating labs and printing out meds lists and studying charts (when I could find them) that as primary preceptor what I'm going to end up doing every day is to clean up after nurses. I betcha! Watch! I'm so sad.
Then I walked into my first patient's room.
[Large vicious freeform rant cut for discretion and the need to wind this up. Patient sent immediately to the ICU; let's leave it at that.]
Then I walked into my second patient's room.
[Sounds of wailing and the rending of garments. No ICU, at least. Barely.]
Then I walked into my third patient's room.
[Nurse taken to ICU. ICU refuses, as staffing is short.]
None of this is helped by the fact that our daytime secretary is DUMB AS A STUMP. Which I believe actually refers to the inability to speak and indeed muteness on the part of the stump, but that is far from the case for our secretary. She never shuts up, and she is OMG SO STUPID.
I'm sorry. Excuse me. But it's the weirdest thing. She is utterly gorgeous, this girl, with her smooth skin and her silky black hair and her green eyes and her lithe body, but I swear to god she opens her mouth and babies cry. I explain the same things to her every day, and then I explain them again, and then I ask her if she did what I asked and she says, "What?" And then I check her work and correct it all and call all the departments she should have called and reenter all the lab orders in the computer because she entered them wrong or didn't enter them at all, and then I discuss her with my charge nurse and my charge nurse says, "Omg, I know, but we spent so much money training her."
*WHANG* *WHANG* *WHANG* ow
The only thing that makes me happy with regard to my gorgeous and stupid secretary is watching all the residents, x-ray techs, RTs, PTs, and nurses flirting with her, and then backing away slowly, with sad looks on their faces.
[Above nasty rant due to request for stupid annoying secretary not to go to breakfast as one patient, poss. two, crashing and needing emergency stuff, and stupid annoying secretary going to breakfast anyway, because Omg I need to eat because I'm hungry and thus Mary had to answer phones, enter orders in computer, answer call lights, etc. with one, poss. two, patients crashing, and pulmonary doctor on hold and then saying to Mary I'd like to help your patient in respiratory distress but I can't get her nurse to pay any attention to me, so that Mary had to respond YOU ARE TALKING TO HER NURSE RIGHT NOW OMG. HOW CAN I HELP YOU. ...SIR.
Ai. And also hee, now that I think of it.]
Welp, off to the mammogram now! Compared to yesterday, this is like happy vacation land all over again.