Yeah, 6 am yesterday. Caught up w/ a few of the slippery night staff who never do their computer-based competencies because, well. Because they work at night and everyone knows no one cares about the night staff. Ai, the morale. This is what I've been getting from the night staff:
me: you have to do that National Patient Safety Goals thingy
them: do what, now?
me: that thing on the computer? I sent 12 emails. It was due in January
them: my email doesn't work
me: really, how unfortunate. why don't you show me what happens, so I can tell the computer tech
them: ...it didn't work the last time I tried
me: of course!
them: plus, I don't have time. I work for a living, you know
me: of course *stabs self*
Then, two hours getting ready for JCAHO again. They don't come. Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop overdosing on Valium. Then Grand Rounds. Medical Director pissed, mistakes were made, nurses not ready, labs not on clipboards, blah blah blah, the usual. We're used to that. Nurse from our other unit calls: hey, my lady has brown gunk coming out of her nose, and she can't breathe. What should I do? Me and the charge and the clin spec race up there.
Along the way, I see a patient being wheeled by. It's someone from our unit, clearly going for a test or a procedure or something... not on the portable cardiac monitor. This is a lady who's due to have a heart catheterization, very unstable. I yell HOLD ON THAR and run for the unit, grab the portable monitor, which weighs like 40 pounds, portable HAH, and race back (the patient's nurse: oh. really? sorry). Hook her up and ride down with her. Doze off for an hour while she gets an ultrasound, wondering what's happening with the brown gunk lady. Finally get back to the unit. Brown gunk lady is bradying down, and her skin is waxy. Luckily, clin spec is able to sit with family while she dies. They don't speak english, we don't speak spanish. What ends up happening is, lots of touching and holding hands. We show them we care, best way we can.
In the meantime, sick nurse is giving report to nurse who came in to work out of the goodness of her heart. I looove her. Patients spiking temps, docs wandering in and out, phones ringing, I'm filling out the paperwork for the deceased. Family wants to wait to move her till more family comes. Ok.
I go down to help with a bone marrow transplant. Medical Director pissed, nurses not ready, labs not on charts, mistakes were made, the usual. Ah, home. Eat lunch. Settle in to do some long overdue paperwork before leaving in half an hour. Charge nurse calls. Nurse who came in to work's own family member is being raced to the hospital. I run back to the unit, she's in tears. Deceased is still in room. I take report on other patients, debate how to ask deceased's family sensitively to move along, in a way that can be understood. Secretary on other unit is, hallelujah, spanish speaking. Also cranky, but likes me because I complimented her ugly coat once. Yes, my soul will fry. She tells them we will take care of her now. They understand, and her husband sings to her one more time.
I take care of patients for three hours. Haven't done direct care in a while! Also post mortem care, which I begin by apologizing and telling her it's ok to go on now. No autopsy, no organ harvest, so all tubes and ivs come out. We clean her up and write out the tags, one for her toe, one for the bag. One I tie around her rosary, which the family wanted to leave with her. If anyone wants to steal it from her, they have to cut the tag off. Hopefully, then, they dream about it, cutting the tag off a rosary they stole from a dead person. Seems fair.
Then I help other nurse finish up her admit and get ready for chemo. Help PA do a lumbar puncture. Give report to charge nurse and then to oncoming nurse. Head downstairs... phones ringing, patients calling, utter chaos. Ahahaha! I go home.
Dudes, I so indulged myself in a burger and fries last night, you know this. Got home, looked at the tv, took nothing in. Oh! Wait, yes, it was Sixteen Candles, which I hadn't seen. Long Duc Dong. Ha. Went to bed with laptop, so as to read Resonant's wonderful Breakfast Club story... woke up with laptop neatly stowed away and turned off, but no memory whatsoever of doing that, or of reading the story.
It was only 14 hours, but I'm out of practice.
I wanted to post a picture of Mal dunking his collar in his water bowl, but T Mobile's being a bitch. Every day I hear the scrit-scrit-scritching of him attempting to wrestle his collar over his head by holding the rabies tag between his teeth and twisting his body. The night before last he succeeded, and when I got up for work, he had coiled the collar neatly into his water bowl. When I took it out, he stole it back from me and dragged it back to his bowl. This morning when I got up, the water in the bowl was dyed pink. The collar's looking a bit bedraggled in there, all water soaked and shredded, but, you know.
Oh! And he caught a lizard, out on the balconey. Dragged it in, stowed it away in his hidey hole under the bathtub. Little brat! Isn't that supposed to be *my* present?