silveryscrape (silveryscrape) wrote,

Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post. It was exactly what I needed, although it's hard to convince myself that simply caring a lot about people and my job is enough to be a good nurse. At some point competence has to play a part, right? But I'm always hardest on myself, and insecurity is sneaky like that. Nine million people could tell me how great I am and I'll just think eh, what do they know. But anyway.

Finally just called the unit yesterday and the first thing out of the charge's mouth was "Breathe, Mary." She was so cool. Told me my patient was in ICU, but mainly because he had run a temp, and the doctor wasn't mad, and the patient spent the day on the phone with friends. Then she told me I better damn well let this go, which made me laugh, and told me how she'd almost killed someone herself one time with a misprogrammed pain medication pump. Actually, everyone who talked to me about this yesterday had a story like that to tell. It was kind of scary.

But she hugged me when I got there and then again when she left, and told me she loved me, which was nice if a bit odd, and I feel tons better. Everybody's being way cool, and you know what? That makes the fact that I might leave if I get this oncology job really hard. I still don't like the facility. The people, though, are toppermost. Well, we'll see. I might hate the Orlando facility, too. But if not, I'll go, because really the world is filled with cool people, isn't it? Yes.

Here, have a picture of JC. I'd never seen this one before. Stolen shamelessly from nuregwen, I think, but I'm not sure. Cheekbones. Holy Guacamole. But, JC: what are those things you're wearing instead of pants? Hmm. Looks like my Music Freedom t-shirt, actually, just wrapped all around.
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